This Week: James Naughtie, Katia Zatuliveter, Min-Jin Kym

Sunday, December 12, 2010

This Week: James Naughtie, Katia Zatuliveter, Min-Jin Kym

Lucy Mangan on the people in the media spotlight in the past seven days

Naughtie words

James Naughtie

Forget WikiLeaks, the sexual assault charges, Operation Payback crashing online payment sites and the concerted effort of every misogynist ranter on the internet to paint the women pressing charges against Assange as honeytrapping hoors. Forget the students taking to the streets against the Lib Dem betrayal, tripling of university fees and cutting of resources that will put higher education back in the hands of the financial elite. The story of the week was undoubtedly the Today programme presenter (below) delivering the ultimate Spoonerism when announcing his guest Jeremy Hunt, culture secretary. He subsequently suffered a "coughing fit" and delivered an apology for the slip of the tongue. What of course we really need to know is ? who are the c***s who called in to complain?

I spy a front page

Katia Zatuliveter

It's the old story ? boy meets girl during a defence committee trip to the eastern bloc, spots her potential, gives her a job in the UK as his parliamentary assistant with access to at least three years' worth of documents pertaining to the country's defence policy, and then turns up for work one day to find she has been detained and questioned by MI5 on suspicion of being a ruddy great Russian spy.

So it was with Mike Hancock, MP for Portsmouth South, and his assistant Katia. He insists the idea she was engaged in espionage is ludicrous; she is appealing against her deportation order. But the important thing is that the tabloids have been able legitimately to publish photos of a fruity blonde 25-year-old, instead of having to go with that Asian chick who was murdered on her honeymoon again. That gets, like, a bit depressing after a while, y'know?

Expensive lunch

Min-Jin Kym

There's not a lot you have to remember to do when you're a violinist carrying a �1.2m Stradivarius and �62,000 Dominique Peccatte (the luthier of luthiers, plebs) bow around London with you, but foremost among those few is probably: don't leave them unattended, no, not even for a second, when you're buying a cheese sandwich in Pret a Manger.

Alas, this vital instruction slipped musician Kym's mind when she was ? uh ? buying a cheese sandwich in Pret a Manger at Euston station, and by the time she turned back to her belongings, an opportunistic entity with a poor sense of social propriety had made off with it.

British Transport police have issued a public appeal for the return of the items and Kym's insurer is offering a �15,000 reward. Keep an eye out, would you? But ? unless you're a forgetful Strad-owner ? don't have nightmares.

What they said

"I feel like I have had a jolly good time. It's been tremendous. Time of my life!" Ann Widdecombe speaks entirely for herself after being voted off Strictly Come Dancing after 10 long, long weeks

"iTunes? I organised it all with Steve Jobs ? I'm also in training for the Olympics. I've been asked to train for the British Paralympic ski team. I went skiing in Austria recently and skied downhill as fast as an able-bodied person." Heather Mills. Who else?

"I'm not claiming divinity. I've never claimed purity of soul. I've never claimed to have the answers to life. I only put out songs and answer questions as honestly as I can ... But I still believe in peace, love and understanding," John Lennon's last interview, three days before his death, published in full for the first time this week