Cameron, Osborne, Lansley and Clegg discuss the NHS, the economy and Syria
Cameron: It's time to clamp down on useless fatties. They are their own worst enemy and they eat up the country's precious supply of crisps.
Osborne: What are we going to do with Eric Pickles, then?
Cameron: We'll kill him ? along with all the worthless drunks and junkies.
Lansley: That's a splendid idea, sir. But may I also suggest, my liege, that we also extend our Final Solution to smokers? We could save the NHS a fortune . . .
Osborne: . . . and knock off the idiot Cleggster into the bargain.
Cameron: Good plan, Lanners. Now, how is your pointless PR campaign of touring the country pretending to consult with the doctors and nurses going?
Lansley: Not well, your Holiness. They are all still too thick to appreciate the great favour we are doing them.
Cameron: Never mind. You won't have to do it much longer . . .
Osborne: because you'll be sacked by the end of the year.
Clegg: Everyone says I need to stand up to you, Daddy. What do you think?
Cameron: I'm not bothered either way, Cleggster.
Clegg: But how would you like me to stand up to you, Daddy?
Cameron: You could go out and do a bit of listening in London. And don't forget your Oyster card.
London: What are you doing here?
Clegg: I'm listening.
London: And after you've listened?
Clegg: I'm going to carry on listening.
London: And then?
Clegg: I'm going home to tell Daddy I've listened.
Angela Eagle: If the prime minister could be bothered to listen to the rest us, he'd realise he's screwed up the economy.
Cameron: Oh do calm down, dear.
Osborne: Bloody funny that, Cams! I can remember you saying that to the cleaner when she went totally ape because you, me and Bozza had, like, really, really trashed the place after the Bullers' dinner.
Cameron: Don't remind me, Ozzy. I hope the lazy cow got the vomit stains off my suit. I'll need it today.
Hague: Great news, my Lord. I have prevented the Peruvian ambassador from embarrassing us at the wedding.
Cameron: Don't you mean the Syrian ambassador?
Hague: Where's Syria?
Cameron: It's next door to Venezuela.
Pickles: Take me to your street party.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/apr/29/westminster-digested-cameron-nhs
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