Cameron and Hague think Libya is in South America ? and Cleggster just wants everyone to be happy
Hague: After watching Sky News I can confirm that Caracas looks as if it is now under rebel control.
Cameron: And where's Gaddafi?
Hague: My intelligence sources tell me he has escaped to Lima.
Cameron: And what's going on with Hamid Karzai?
Hague: I think he might be in Rio.
Cameron: Good. That's just where we want him. It's wonderful to have a Latin American specialist as foreign secretary I can rely on.
Hague: Where's Latin America?
Cameron: Don't sweat the small stuff, William, old bean. Let's just celebrate our triumph in Libya ...
Liam Fox: ? by making half our armed forces redundant when they get back.
Grant Shapps: Er, that might be tricky. The housing crisis is worse than feared. It's not just the proles who are homeless now; it's also the middle classes.
Cameron: So what's the problem? People with a little bit of money are getting above themselves. Sleeping rough will do them the world of good. They have to realise a large mansion in the country, five foreign holidays a year and an unearned income is a privilege, not a right.
Steve Hilton: Bad news, sire! The results from the latest focus groups are not good. It seems the little people think we are the bad Old Tories after all.
Cameron: Whatever could have given them that idea?
Hilton: I have no idea, my Lord. But I fear we need some blue-sky thinking to rebrand ourselves as the modernising modern party that is going forward modernly.
Cameron: I like it. That's catchy. Have it knocked up into a new poster campaign, Cleggster.
Cleggster: Oh, Daddy. I'm so bored with doing all the dreary jobs. Why can't I spearhead the coalition's new direction?
Cameron: What do you suggest?
Clegg: Couldn't we just say we want people to be happy and stuff?
Cameron: Isn't it your bedtime now. Anyone else got any ideas?
Nadine Dorries: We can kill anyone who has ever had an abortion ...
Louise Mensch: And I could tweet ...
Hilton: Minister of Twitter. Liking it.
Osborne: How about we get tough on tax avoidance by not making any change to the banking regulations till after the next election?
Cameron: Genius, Ozzy. We're so all in this together.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/sep/01/westminster-digested-cameron-hague
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