Friday, February 25, 2011

Duck Poop

Scrooge McDuck spoke today to the suckers at CPAC, his orange bill for some reason transposed to the top of his doofus head.

Jingling the gold coins in his pockets and rummaging around in his ass for applause lines, McDuck told the Confederate army that he was pro-Life, anti-gun control, and wouldn't hesitate to show the rest of the world that America still had the biggest dick, even if it's liver-spotted and about to fall off.

McDuck has excited speculation among intellectual shut-ins that he is batting his eyelashes about a presidential run in 2012, claiming that he's seriously considering it for the first time in his life.

He's either getting dotty, or unable to keep track anymore on his cynical ploys, having pulled a similar chin-pull two years before the 2008 election (his britches too big to contemplate anything as paltry as the governor's mansion of New York) and before that for 2000, when he pondered running as an independent.

The purpose of Scrooge's flirtation was to create and sustain sham news-buzziness until he hauls out a new book in this winter. He treated CPAC as if it were another one of his Learning Annex Wealth Expo rallies, the initial burp of his sales campaign.

Hey, you know who else is gracing CPAC?

Duddy Kravitz!

And boy has the smile gone out of his eyes.

Source: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/wolcott/2011/02/scrooge-mcduck-spoke-today-to.html

Camilla Mountbatten-Windsor Duchess of Cornwall Robert Mugabe Ralph Nader Saparmurat Niyazov

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